mutis

i do not know why is so hard for me to express myself. To start an intimate conversation with "someone" is extremely hard, my stupid brain thinks about all the consecuences of starting that conversation and finally my mouth does not respond to me and i keep myself quiet. but why? maybe because of the degree of likeness that i feel for "someone", i do not know why. maybe i keep myself shut for the fact that she is the ex-girlfriend of a friend, not a close friend, but......well it is hard, really hard to spent time with her; is hard to contain myself. and is in those moments when i hate to be like i am. why i can tell her a million times that i hate her, but i cant tell her my real feelings, well this nonsense is becoming very silly so im gonna stop writing now.....................