dragon_chronicles

the black wings of fate are upon us!! the dragon comes to eat our wishes....

hétfő, augusztus 29, 2005

Monday afternoon (ahora sí)

Monday afternoon, the bed was unmade when I reached the place, it smelled like flowers, burned flowers actually, there was blood on the floor, it was dry of course, the crime was yesterday, a crime of passion they said, but I think it was just a perversion, of course, a very bad perversion.
I was there looking for more clues, the flat was in a mess, clothes everywhere, food, dirty dishes all around, a pair of dirty cotton panties on the table, a pair of handcuffs under it, and lots of stuff I can’t describe; suddenly a girl appeared at the door, she wasn’t older than 16 years old, she was dressed as a Japanese schoolgirl, with a red tartan miniskirt tied to her hips, a pair of large socks, black shoes, a white transparent blouse, so I can see her little pink nipples through the tissue, and a red old school tie, her skin was peach, she was tall for her age, about 6 feet, she had long blond hair double pony tailed, her breasts were round, steady and big, she had a pair of beautiful blue eyes and gorgeous lips, and when I saw her standing there I felt the chills running trough my back.

-¬can I help you miss? I asked.
-who are you? She answered.
-I’m officer Jones, I’m a police investigator- I said while I showed my nameplate –I’m collecting clues about some incident that occurred here last night, did you know Mrs. Geller?
-Yes, of course I know her; I am her…..roommate. But what crime are you talking about? What happened here?
-Well it is what I’m trying to find out. Can I ask you some questions about Mrs. Geller?
-Sure, sure, But what happened to Mary is she Ok?

She closed the door and came into the room, she sat down in a wooden chair in front of me and she opened her legs wide, and then she crossed her legs slowly like if she was dancing ballet, in that moment I could see her white cotton panties just like the dirty ones on the table, of course the pair she was wearing looked clean, she untied her old school tie a little and unbuttoned one of the buttons of her blouse, the skin of her legs shined with the ray of sunlight that was coming through the window, her breasts were perfectly rounded under her transparent white blouse; she was sweating, and the drops of sweat were running down her beautiful goose neck until they reached her breasts and disappeared wetting her blouse making it even more transparent; I was sweating too, she was so hot and so young, but I had to do my job so I started:

-Well first able, what is your name miss?
-My name is Melissa. Melissa Graves
-Ok and how old are you Miss Melissa?
-I’m seventeen years old.
-Good. So, when was the last time that you saw Mrs. Geller?
-Well I saw her last night around midnight, she was laid on the bed, I went to the store for some……er…aspirins but I found a friend over the store and he invited me to a party so I went because Mary had a headache and I preferred to let her sleep.
-Did you notice something weird when you went out of the building, unknown people or something?
-No, everything was….normal. But, what happened to Mary? - She asked again.

I felt my blood run cold, her friend was laid in the morgue and she doesn’t knew it. I looked at her, so innocent, so helpless. Then I gathered force and I told her that her friend was dead, that her friend was being killed while she was dancing in a party; of course she asked: “how?”, and I tried to explain it to her trying not to be very descriptive, then she broke down into crying, her tears were running down her cheek, then they were being mixed with her sweat, wetting even more her blouse and accentuating her breasts, I was totally numb, she was the most beautiful and sexy girl I had seen in my entire life!!. I approached to her to try to support her, I hugged her tight, and I felt her breasts closed to me, she put her arms around me, I felt her breath on my neck, her warm breath start to get me hornier and my nipples were very hard, then suddenly I felt her lips pushed to my neck and then her tongue licking behind my ear, and I hear her whispering to me: “I wish you”. Then she put her face in front of my face and kissed me, she kissed all over my face and I kissed her face, I don’t know why I did it but it felt so good, I tasted her salad tears all over her cheeks, her hand was grabbing my buttocks, then I started to unbutton her blouse, one button at a time discovering her round breasts, they were like a pair of huge peaches, her nipples were hard, small and pink; I started licking her nipples, sucking them, and grabbing her breasts with both of my hands, I was really excited because this was something new to me; I put my right hand under her miniskirt and I rub her pussy over her panties, she moaned while she was trying to reach my pubic area, I was kissing her breasts frantically, and trying to reach her vulva to give her more pleasure, she unfastened my pants and put her hand under my undies rubbing me too, in that moment I got rid off her beautiful and wet cotton panties, and stuck my finger inside her pussy, my fingers were full of her vaginal liquid and I moved them in and out of her gorgeous vagina, then making circles inside her tight cunt, she was about to explode of pleasure and so do I.

-Fuck me, fuck me- she was begging me for- lick me now….

After she take out my shirt I descended until I saw her beautiful pink rose, open like a mouth about to talk, slobbering uncontrollably, fierce toothless tiger looking a slippery fish; hunger to feel the movements of my tongue she put her hands on the back of my head and pushed me to her vagina, so I licked it, I started licking her vaginal lips, then I put my tongue a little inside and found her clitoris and I licked it so hard that she had a convulsion in her pelvis and almost hit my nose with her pubic bone.

-I want you inside- she told me moaning.

So I prepared my fingers and I penetrate her with them, doing the old in and out frenetically, I continued licking while my fingers were inside of her, she was trembling hard and moaning, and grabbing her breasts that were bouncing , rubbing my legs with her tiny beautiful feet, she was grabbed from the leg of the chair near to a pile of clothes, I was licking her fast when suddenly she screamed, in that moment her vulva became wetter and I felt that beautiful contraction of her vaginal muscles around my fingers, she was having a colossal orgasm, screaming and trembling. When the euphoria of her orgasm ended she took my head and she led me to kiss her, she thanked my and kissed me, I noticed that while she was kissing me she was looking for something under the pile of clothes near our sexual scene, she took off my underwear and started to touch me.

It’s your turn now- she said.

I let her kiss my body and she undressed me completely, then she started to descent having a couple of objects in her hand, she took my wrists carefully and tied me to the table with a pair of velvet handcuffs. I was so excited, she was touching me, licking me, grabbing me, and I was abandoned to her, she got rid of my clothes slowly, and then I was totally naked and she was my mistress; then suddenly she went down to my pussy and bite one of my breasts while she was descending, she reached my vulva, and licked it hard, then she came up and kissed me so I can taste myself, I was in a pleasure coma, my own smell was all over my face, and she continued with her job down there, she stuck three of her fingers inside of me, I moaned because it hurt a little but it felt so good, I feel all my wetness and her tongue like a crazy snake trying to get inside its cave, then she reached another thing from under the pile of clothes, I wasn’t able to see what it was, but actually I don’t care, I was having the pleasure that any man could give me, her fingers inside, her tongue, her moans, my moans, her other hand grabbing my breasts desperately, I vision numbs, my limbs were asleep, my pussy was exploding of pleasure, a heat comes to my head from between my legs, I forget where I was, and then she got up and whispered:

Now you know what happened to Mary, I gave her life, and then…..

She raised her right hand with an old dagger, I screamed, but I can’t distinguish between fear and pleasure, she looked completely insane, gorgeous, dangerous, and innocent at the same time. She point to my chest and discharge her deadly stab, I closed my eyes and heard a strong noise, but I felt nothing, just the weight of her body falling backwards, I opened my eyes and I saw my partner, aiming his smoking gun right to the head of the beautiful girl…

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Ahí me dicen que opinan...

5 Comments:

  • At 1:35 du., Anonymous Névtelen said…

    Felicidades mi estimado emmanuel por romper con el primer gran problema de todo escritor, atreverse a publicar sus primeras historias, y pienso que lo mejor que puedo hacer para compensar el esfuerzo es ser honesto y objetivo, me agrado mucho la historia en general, pero hubo unos pequeños detalles que no me convencieron:

    1.- algunas partes descriptivas del sexo de la mujer (solo algunas) como que eso de vulva y pubic area, rompio el encanto (que estaba bien chido hasta el momento) se oyen como mas porno o muy tecnico.

    2.- Ya sé que es erotico, pero parece rutina de pelicula porno, ademas si te imaginas a las dos mujeres retozando en las costras de sangre de la amiga tampoco es muy exitante.

    3.- El final, estuvo muy precipitado y hollywoodense, ademas de que te fusilaste la escena de sharon stone en "bajos instintos" por lo que aunque describieras a la chamaca ya tenia la imagen de la stone cruzando la pata y no me imagine a la chica como hubiera deseado.

    4.- El titulo esta bien chido, pero me parecio que quedaba mejor para novela policiaca que para cuento erotico, tal vez sea mi imaginacion pero al inicio me parecio mas un cuento de el primer genero que del segundo (deberias probar con algo por el estilo para ver que sale)

    Pues como veras tal vez me vi medio mamon con lo del analisis,(recuerda que solo es mi opinion) pero creo que los comentarios que vas a recibir los vas a tomar como criticas constructivas y no como mala leche de nuestra parte.

    Como te decia que el cuento esta chido y me gustó (ademas el genero me agrada bastante jejeje) habra que esperar tu segundo cuento erotico para ver como se pone esto, saludos.

     
  • At 8:47 du., Blogger faithless dragon-boy said…

    pues estas criticas son muy bien aceptadas, dicen que echando a perder se aprende, estoy intentando escribir más porque ese genero se me hace muy explotable, tu idea de lo del genero policiaco me atrae mucho, de hecho son dos de mis generos favoritos, seguire intentando, y ahi nos vemos...

     
  • At 10:50 du., Blogger Diana said…

    Lo mismo, felicidades, te has atrevido a transgredir la clasificación C de la mayoría de los relatos eróticos. También me agrada la idea de Nacho (¡pervertido!) de mezclar los dos géneros. Yo no te voy a criticar, es el inicio y estás por descubrir tu estilo (ya sabes, eso de ensayo y error); y aunque a algunos les puede parecer trillado el tema o las imagenes tiene su mérito. Y creeme, yo no he podido escribir nada así. Así que lo unico que puedo decir es:
    Arriba el hardcore¡¡¡¡

     
  • At 7:59 du., Blogger SB said…

    Muy bien. I´m speechless of your inventive skills for writing short stories. Y la mezcla de géneros es bastante buena. A veces la falta de puntos puede hacer que te quedes sin aliento (si lo lees en voz alta). Pero ciertamente eso le da más fluidez al relato y acorta el tiempo de lectura. ¡Felicidades!

     
  • At 4:28 du., Blogger Unknown said…

    Felicidades, muy buen cuento. Me parece que aun puede mejorar, sòlo toma en cuenta lo creas conveniente de lo que ta han dichò los demàs. Me parece que tu cuento es un muy buen ejemplo de "Erothanatos", igual que "Ulrica" de Borges; aunque me gusta que tù no tengas traumas que te impidan en"fuck"arte en la "acciòn" màs interesante.

     

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